Like Mike, I Wanna Be Like Mike

Dear Mike, I'm not even offended.

As a young woman growing up in a society that turns stars into demi-gods, I fall for the occasional celebrity crush. Years 12-16 saw a peak in the "Val Kilmer as Batman" sector, followed by a brief stint in the "Tom Cruise is cute and I like short men" zone. Still later, ages 17-19 left posters of Keith Hamilton Cobb and Ben Harper on my wall, a tribute to the "I like men who look like me" era. Since then, I've discovered a new indulgence c/o the Discovery Channel. And he goes by the name of Mike Rowe.

He's the host of Dirty Jobs, a show that explores the most thankless jobs in America. The concept, a permutation of Rowe's "Somebody's Got to Do It" segment on KPIX-TV San Francisco, seems pulled from the gutter, but the show comes off like a charm. I tuned in recently to watch this man tar a roof and started to wonder. I started to wa-wa-wa-wa wonder: Why?

Do I have a slated preference for older, smart, funny men? Maybe. Do I find pleasure in watching people drain human waste down a sewer? Getting warmer. Does it have to do with a deep-seeded desire to be as good if not better than this man as a television host? Bingo. I like this man because he's packing. in the laughs.

And he's got a tough gig. Somehow someway, he must make harvesting dung and gutting fish--typically unpalatable-- fun and entertaining. A veces he uses sarcasm. At moments, he opts for frank appraisals of the situation. And sometimes , he quotes William Butler Yeats. Unlike the slew of desperate women revealed after a web search of .07 seconds who are having way too much fun with "dirty" entendres, I appreciates this man for his wit. And I'm not the only one. Just check out this Feb. 2007 interview on The Daily Show. I'm not a TDS buff, but I've never seen such a delicious moment of comedic conviviality--and it's all due to Rowe's delivery and word choice.

Along with being a satirical savant, the so-called "Voice of the Discovery Channel" also narrates American Chopper, American Hot Rod, and Deadliest Catch, a show that follows the lives of Alaskan fishermen. He owes his golden throat to years of training at singing in the Baltimore Opera (insert line about "knowing how to use a diaphragm"). And according to Wikipedia, in an earlier life he also sold over a million dollars in "simulated" diamonds on the QVC. Desperate housewife at 3am eating a bucket of chicken approved.

In an age of boob jokes, dumb props, one-dimensional observations, celebrity gossip, and idle chatter , it's refreshing to see a television host who is genuinely smart, amiable, and funny. Sorry Seacrest. Spade, keep fighting the good fight.

I'm not a player and I don't crush a lot, but this guy is sharp. And I'm taking notes.