Audible Sigh.

damn. damn-da-damn-damn-damn.

It's Wednesday, May 30, which means I'm still in school. But why compare shot angles in Hacivat Karagöz neden öldürüldü? when I can write about something far more important: Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School. Ft. Mo'Nique.

"First of all," damn you VH1 for an endless series of spin-offs. It started with Flavor of Love, then Flavor of Love 2, next I Love New York, then I Love New York 2: You Cast It!, and now Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School ft. Mo'Nique. Can't stop/Won't stop/this shit is reality show diarrhea.

And yet, dear producers, I completely understand.

By the time you find a cast, hire a production crew, build a set, and stock up on nose candy you've invested hundreds of thousands into a media project. If you want to cover the costs and turn a profit, you've got to minimize risk. Unfortunately, there is no magic ball for tv, so the best strategy is to compare your product to the success of others like it. Sure its not fool-proof (Seinfeld, anyone?), but it works. Sorry Joey.

So while I can't blame VH1 for a business model, I think we've passed the point of diminishing returns. Sure the premise --training minority women to be socially refined--is an essay waiting to happen, but it's also kinda lame. And I feel like I'm watching someone sew Nikes.

Johnny ComeLately

Exploited, you say? I'm sure these young women are sufficiently compensated.

Come on, JC. This is a production driven by conflict and drama. If creators didn't think they'd get enough show fodder, there wouldn't be one, so what do you think that says about the expectations for each contestant's ability?

Which brings me to Schatar Sapphira Taylor.

lookin like a ghetto rapunzel.

If ya ain't know, Schatar Taylor aka 'Hottie' first gained notoriety for being a FOLGirl. And later, for trying to microwave a chicken.

Attempting to capitalize on celebreality status, she launched her own site which, along with recipes for UnChicken ($15 signed, free tape worm) lists Schatar as a University of Pennsylvania grad. Which makes sense. Why work for Deloitte when you can hump a Suzuki and wave around a C-Note like it's a deed to a 2BR on the Upper East Side.

And there's more. In an recent Essence interview, Schatar spilled the beans on other ventures.

E: Wow, okay. You've also said you would like to have your own VH1 show entitled Shopping Couture With Schatar. Why should anyone trust you as an authority on fashion?

S: My fans love my sense of style! Everywhere I go--from Disneyland to different countries--they compliment my taste in clothes. In fact, after the fashion episode I was asked many times if I was going to start my own collection.

Disneyland? She's got that ambition, baby, I can see it in her personalized Mickey Mouse ears.

But for serious, Schatar? A fashion line? I don't think Japan can make that much polyester. I can just hear the AM meeting ("50% nylon? Not good enough. You--Get me a double-Chai latte. You--Add more fake jewels. And where are the scissors? This halter needs a Ta-Ta hole.")

But this isn't a "lets poke fun at the black proletariat" entry. Nor is it an "us vs. them" thing. Unless we are people who appreciate original, smart and engaging television.

It's just me, saying Dear VH1, please stop producing shows that are stupid, and another thZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzZZz.

Oh, and give Sherrod Small my best.