INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - SONY BUILDING- 1997

"From the top.  This time, like a four year old."

A HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE, 28, meticulously laid back in a Polo shirt (TM) and high-end running shoes, sits at the end of a long conference table covered in catered food and ergonomic water bottles. On his left, a SECRETARY, 23, blonde, slim as a reed and pale as a sheet, taps a pen on a canary legal pad.

The frosted glass door swings open.  

BOB CLARK, 42, salt-and-pepper hair and GREG MICHAEL, 45, snout for a nose, enter, hands extended.  Hotshot Executive, Bob, and Greg exchange curt hand shakes. 

BOB/GREG/H.E.

Hi/Howdy/Come on in.

Greg remains standing.

GREG

We know you're busy, so we'll cut to the chase--  

BOB

--the chase.

GREG

I love babies--

BOB

--love 'em.  

GREG

Bob loves babies.

BOB

L-o-v-e.

GREG

And America loves babies.  The top films of the last five years all had babies.

BOB

Every single one.  Chock full 'o babies.  Or babies all grown up. 

Hotshot Executive and Secretary exchange looks that say, "He's got a point there."  

GREG

Which brings us to our idea for a movie: Baby Geniuses.

BOB

Well, wait a second Greg.  I'm with you on the babies, but geniuses? That's an unexpected twist.   Now that I think of it, I've always been slightly curious about people with heightened capabilities.   

GREG

That's the beauty of Baby Geniuses, Bob -- now you don't have to choose.  

BOB

Finally!  And the premise itself is wrought with conflict.  Conflict meaning humor.

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

So they can recite pi to a hundred digits but can't change their own diaper.  

BOB/GREG

Exactly.

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

Evil henchman? Inept but lovable adult?  Romantic subplot?

GREG

All there.  Seek and ye shall find.

The Secretary jots on the legal pad.  The Hotshot Executive stands, palm extended.

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

Well, thanks for coming in gentlemen.  We'll be in touch.

BOB/GREG/H.E.

Sure thing!  /Thank you! / Thanks again.

A beat as the frosted doors close.

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

Horseshit.  

SECRETARY

Pure drivel.  

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

Then again... can you picture little baby figurines in cereal boxes?

SECRETARY

Absolutely.  I mean, parents would have to make sure their babies don't choke on babies, but sure, great instincts--

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

Forget it.  That idea's going nowhere. 

The Secretary tears a page out of the pad.  A second later it's a canary crumble.

 

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

See, hon.  You've got to go with your gut in this business.  Without that, you got nothing.   Or toddlers with stethoscopes shitting themselves.   Or on a gigantic, sunken ship.  Like that pitch last week.

SECRETARY

I know, right?  Who wants to watch a movie if they already know the ending?

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

You got it.  

A beat.

HOTSHOT EXECUTIVE

Wait, what do you mean "you're showing"?

FIN