Inmate 0001-4873-2281-0112. Ex 6/07.Just three days after declaring her desire to do prison “the right way”, Paris Hilton was put on house arrest and released from prison by Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca.
From CTV News:
"The city attorney filed a petition for an order to show cause why the sheriff should not be held in contempt for releasing Ms. Hilton, and demanded that she be held in custody," Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini said late Thursday afternoon.
Baca released Hilton after she had served just three days in jail because of a "medical condition."
Symptoms: wussiness, a black card, and no appreciation for the value of a dollar. Doctor, I think we’ve got a spoiled bi*tch on our hands.
Counselors worried Paris’ afflictions were psychological, and showed concern the celebutante was getting depressed in jail.
Depressed? In jail? You mean there are no mani-pedis in the place society sends citizens to pay for transgressions committed against the State?
The free-Paris brigade galvanized when the heiress refused to eat prison food. Since refusing to eat real food just makes her trendy.
Rocky Delgadillo, the LA attorney that tried Hilton, is reportedly "concerned that the judicial process may have been improperly circumvented in this case.”
Sigh. Paris has been ‘warned’ four times since January for alcohol-related offenses. Click here to sign a petition that she be the-word-that-sounds-like-circumvent-plus--an-ed-but-for-girls.
L.A. County Sheriff's office spokesperson Steve Whitmore called the release a "re-assignment."
re-assignment, n. : the act of avoiding civil consequences through the exchange of money, sexual favors, or both. (see: spoiled b*itch)
"She met with a psychiatrist yesterday in jail so people are speculating she was just too depressed to stay in jail any longer. She certainly appears to be physically healthy, we saw her on the red carpet for the MTV Movie Awards Sunday evening…" says Dobson, concluding, “Everything slides off Paris, and this is one more example of that."
Shrewd observation, Dobson. "And slides into, if you know what I mean," added Obvious Guy.
Hilton, originally sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case, was expected to serve a reduced sentence of 23 days in prison.
If you’re keeping score, that’s one day less for every knobslob at Les Deux.
Authorities say Hilton will be confined to her home and equipped with an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet.
Leave it to Paris to go to jail and walk out with jewelry.
But what of the groundbreaking journal she’s supposed to keep to chronicle her experience?
Said Dobson, "The value of that diary certainly took a nose dive because of this."
Point of information, Dobson: Paris Hilton is known for her oral skills, and for severely overextending use of the word ‘hot.’ She's probably not smarter than a fifth-grader.
As to accomodations:
Paris was permitted to take her meals in her cell and was allowed to venture outside the 12-foot-by-8-foot space, and released every day for at least an hour to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone.
Reverend Al Sharpton even issued a statement, arguing that Paris’ early release constitutes racial favoritism.
Ditto. I mean, do you really think Lupita, Ming, and Monifa Bonifa Konifa Latifa Jackson would get this much leeway? No way, Josefina.
If society is really concerned with Paris' well-being, they'll give her some discipline. And keep her away from the real culprits: Jim Bean, Jack Daniels and Lindsay Lohan.
And for the record, I don't agree with Sharpton because he’s black.
We agree because he understands my cultural references.
Addendum:
Since this post Paris Hilton has been re-sentenced to 45 days in jail. Though the picture of Paris crying in the back of a squad car doesn't give SS the giggles, it's important to remember that Hilton is an American citizen--like the rest of us. Her sadness is no different than that felt by thousands of others who realize they must endure legal, punitive consequences for their actions.
That said, this article about selling her sweat is ridonculous.
Love the post! Bravo! Oh, how I miss you.
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