Five Minutes Ago. . .

I stole this picture from the Internet. Sorry Al Gore. and ps, your son is ballin' outrageous right now.

Last night I made lemon squares. At 3 am. While watching The Phil Silvers Show. And this morning my dad finally bought some milk. You know. The carton I inquired about some five days ago.

INT. KITCHEN --Day

DAD, if that is his real name, is looking for lunch. DAUGHTER 1 is jonesing for lemon and DAUGHTER 2 is surfing the web.

Dad (closing fridge door)
I went out this morning and bought some milk.

DAUGHTER 1 cuts a lemon square. In silence.

Dad (in make-fun-of-my-daughter voice)
Aw, thanks Dad, you’re so great. Thanks for finally buying me milk.

DAUGHTER 1
Is it skim?

DAD
Geez there were all kinds of different milk at the store. There's getting to be too many. 2% milk, Low-fat milk, Fat-free milk, non-milk milk.

DAUGHTER 2
Buttermilk.

DAUGHTER 1
Butta-face milk.

DAD
I just chose the one with the most colors.

DAUGHTER 1
Hey what's that shiny thing over there?

scene

After that we discussed Matt Damon. And it wasn't the first time.

INT. LIVING ROOM - Day

DAD
It says here Matt Damon made 3 Jason Bourne movies. I'm trying to figure out which one I haven’t seen.

DAUGHTER 1
You missed the one where he takes off his shirt.

Condemning SILENCE.

DAUGHTER 1
You sure do like that Matt Damon.

DAD
No, I like the character. Jason Bou--

DAUGHTER 1
The character is just words on a page! Matt Damon breathes life into the font!

DAD
And you remember the part where he strips down. (beat)

DAUGHTER 1
I am going to forget we had this conversation.