I bit my tongue yesterday. For the holidays.
And here's why.
Picture it: I finally find the perfect sofa, not too soft, not too firm that "isn't too low and doesn't hurt my (dad's) back." And then I find it takes 2 months to deliver.
Which is insane. I mean, orange-screwball-cat-detective insane.
And the associate, who btw was wearing a non-work appropriate V-neck, says she'll call and see if they can sell it off the floor. Fine. She comes back and says we have to buy the loveseat.
Now normally, I don't take kindly to someone telling me what to do. But at month four, I'm tired of home renovation. And when we get her card and before we go I ask her if there's a difference in price because it's a floor model.
And Associate #2 stops what she's doing, turns around, and gives me the look. Like I'm crazy. Like no one in the last 22 years has ever re-priced show model. Like I'd asked whether fried chicken grease would set on the upholstery 'cus come game day you know Pa likes him some wings.
Before I go on, note I didn't actually see the look. I just felt her silent judgement and, like a bigger person, ignored her. But since I'm entitled to youthful indescrestion, here's what happened in my head.
SOMEWHERE INSIDE A FURNITURE STORE
Me
Thanks for helping us, Ma'am. Like I said, we just gave our furniture away to kids with cancer.
Associate One (wipes away a tear)
God bless you.
Me
Oh he already has. In so many ways.
Associate One
Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me
Actually, I know those couches are off the floor, does that mean there's a price difference?
Associate Two shoots THE LOOK. In SLOW MOTION.
Me (turning)
Listen you old bag, keep typing before you run out of useful years .
Associate Two's mouth goes slack.
Me
And while you're at it keep you looks to yourself. Which shouldn't be hard since they're fading anyways.
FIN
Sigh.
What can you do? At that age they're set in their ways.
On an unrelated note, If I hear, "Put the Christ back in Christmas" one more time I'm breaking out the cloth, feathers, and red candles.*
*just kidding, god. please don't strike a letter of my name from the book of life.
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